Posts
My firend Yosra and I have sort of been slacking on our dual
subject blogging. Perhaps it comes with the fact that we live in slow-paced
countries. She’s an American revert living in Egypt with her husband and
adorable son, and although our lives are totally different, they are reflective at
the same time.
She came up with the idea to write an article called “Things
My Mom Would Hate About Living Here” (which you should read here) and I have modified that to "Things That My
Mom and Dad Would Both Love and Hate About Living Here." I’m of course
overwhelmed with entries on the list so I’ve narrowed it down to the following:
Let’s start with Mom:
THINGS MY MOM WOULD HATE
1)
The first thing (and to me the funniest) is that in order to
get here, she would have to board a plane. In order to board a plane, she would
have to enter an airport. In order to get on said plane, she’d have to face her
worst fear in life: The Airport X-Ray Vision Scanner. She is adamant about the
fact that these exist, which of course they don’t. I’ve traveled all over the
world, have been in airports in many cities and not once have I ever seen this
alleged “naked-vision” machine. Despite my numerous declarations that nobody is
going to see her in her underwear, she is convinced the TSA workers and
everyone else in line are going to see her girly parts.
2)
Another downside is the lack of Zombie shows aired here. I’ve
been out of the States for a while but it seems like everyone is Zombie crazy,
including her. You won’t find any creepy, slimy, dirty freaks walking around
here. Or maybe you might.
3)
There’s no Fresca here. Anywhere.
4)
She likes her personal space. Kiss that goodbye upon entry
into the Kingdom of Morocco. The lovely women here have no problem pushing,
shoving, and generally ignoring your existence. It happens in the souk, the
mosque, the bus, the cell phone store, everywhere. “Cutting” is part of the
norm and they like to just wedge their way all up in your area. Grown men will
just blatantly step in front of you in line, assuming you won’t say anything. Unless
of course, you’re a loud-mouthed American like me. As far as talking goes, the
space cushion has not yet been introduced. People will get ALLLLLL up in your
grill with their unbrushed teeth and talk to you like it’s no big deal. I can
hear my mom’s famous words in my head now: “Yer crowdin’ me, yer crowdin’ me!!”
5)
Another bummer: There’s no official Apple Store here. What’s a
Mac-lover to do?
6)
There’s generally not a lot of air conditioning here either,
which makes the close proximity to people in layers of clothes even less
desirable. She likes it cool.
Probably because SHE’S cool. If it hits a degree above 65, the AC is cranked in
the house. Not sure how she’d adjust to the African summers here.
7)
DANGER. This word does not exist in Moroccan vocabulary or
mindset. There is nothing wrong with a family of 4 on a moped (with no helmets
of course) and a newborn baby being a part of the entourage. I’m serious when I
say I see it every day. There are gaping holes in the sidewalks the size of
refrigerators and plenty of other atrocities that are considered normal. She
would for sure be appalled, shocked, and speechless at the total disregard for
safety. I have become desensitized to it, but sometimes I still shake my head
in utter disbelief.
 |
| Watch your step! |
 |
| A plastic grocery bag will fix it. Good job guys. |
 |
| Stellar hole patch. |
 |
| I hope your toddler is paying attention to where he's walking. |
 |
| Exposed electrical wires for the kids. No big deal. |
THINGS MY DAD WOULD HATE
1)
The lack of order. My dad loves structure. He loves when
things are “just so” and done in an orderly manner. Yeah, you won’t find that
here. Most things are done all willy-nilly.
2)
He also like crazy weather. Nope, not gonna find that here. No
thunderstorms, no blizzards, no hot/cold pockets, nada. Just sunny, balmy, and
breezy almost every single day of the year. It rained the other day and I got
so excited like a little kid. I ran to the window, opened it and just smelled
rain. It’s been waaaay too long since I’ve smelled rain and it was fantastic.
I’m sure my dad would miss sitting with the balcony window open and hearing the
hard rain pour down. I know I do.
3)
You will not find any Green Bay Packers games on tv here. Just
like most Americans could care less about soccer, Moroccans could care less
about American Football. His chants of
“GO PACK GO!” would fall on deaf ears.
4)
Music isn’t halal in a Muslim country (or anywhere else) so it’s pretty
safe to bet he wouldn’t be able to hear any Beatles songs on the oldies
station. There’d definitely be “Lonesome Tears in His Eyes” about that.
5)
Another thing my dad loves is English-speaking Customer
Service Representatives. Not here. Nope. The term “customer service” is widely
unknown. There is no such “the customer is always right” mindset. In fact, it’s
the opposite. It’s more like “Who cares about the customer as long as we’re
making money.” Take for example my issues with the monopolizing company Maroc
Telecom. I paid for a week of internet usage and of the 7 days, 5 of them were
completely without service or connection whatsoever. When I went to the MT
store to request a refund of the 5 days or 5 additional days free, I was
laughed at. The guy looked at me like I was nuts. His response? “Ma areftsh.” That’s
Arabic for “I don’t know” and he literally shrugged his shoulder and shouted
“NEXT!” over my shoulder.
6)
I’m not sure if my dad is into Zombies, but he’s for sure into
tv. He has his separate room in the house, aka his “man cave” where he watches
his regular lineup of favorites. Unless he wants to watch HOUSE or Prison Break
dubbed in French, I’m sure he probably wouldn’t be too thrilled about the lack
of availability here. Satellite dishes are more common in houses than hot water
so maybe he could make nice with a neighbor. Or at least his dish cables…
7)
Hot rods and Harleys. The loud motor and exhaust sounds are
only a faint memory for me because the scrawny motorbike is the vehicle of
choice for most of the population. While I understand its affordability and
convenience, it just doesn’t hold a flame to a dual-exhaust LOUD Harley.
Chances are, you won’t find a ’67 Chevelle layin’ around anywhere, either.
Cancel the “Scoop the Loop” date.
 |
| Not. |
THINGS MY MOM WOULD LOVE
1)
Jammies at all times. (I mean come on, who wouldn't love that?) Yep, there’s no need to get all dolled
up. It’s perfectly normal and acceptable to wear your lounge clothes during all
hours of the day. When it’s time to leave the house, you just upgrade and throw
a robe over your pajamas and BOOM! you’re ready to hit the streets. Not only
can you wear PJs and robes around town, it’s encouraged! And your hair?
Pshhhh…forget it. You just throw a scarf on and go. Makeup is reserved for your
husband so when you leave the house, you don’t bother with that either. Could
it get any better? The best part is that this is what most people in Agadir do.
You fit right in. No fuss, no muss. (Side Note: does anyone even know what muss
is?)
2)
Fresh fruit and produce. We are talking like THEE best fruits
and veggies ever. And they’re dirt-cheap. Why? Probably because there’s still
dirt on them when you buy them, that’s how fresh they are. Sure you might have
a sink full of mud after you wash your taters, but if you’re paying like 2
cents a pound, who cares?
3)
Grocery prices. You can shop at the souk and buy a week’s
worth of food for the whole family for less than 20 bucks. The food here is
really cheap so it makes cooking more fun when you have such cheap fresh
ingredients available every day of the year. (But still no Fresca).
4)
My art gallery of a house. I’ve turned my whole house into an
art-filled gallery of sorts. I’ve done so many things in there and taken a lot
of inspiration from my mom and her minimalist/bold sense of style. There’s a
peacock feather painting, a chalkboard fridge, cool jazzy stuff, and glitter
everywhere. (ok, so the glitter is all me). I think she’d like to see my creativity come to life in the
design of a funky Moroccan pad.
5)
The cool jewelry. My mom LOVES unique art and also unique
jewelry. Her wedding ring is by choice diamond-free and in the shape of cool
net/web pattern. It’s SO cool and so her. I’m sure she’d have a field day here
with all the artisan one-of-a-kind pieces. You can also get just about anything
custom-made for next to nothing. The Moroccan style is sometimes very apparent,
and sometimes just subtle enough to be mixed with modern design.
6)
The camping. Nothing beats the camping here. You can camp in
the mountains, on a cliff, next to waterfalls, in a cave, in the desert with
camels and toureg nomads, in a grass field in the middle of nowhere, or in a
sea of sand and palm trees. The African sunsets are insanely beautiful and
there’s so much variety in the terrain here that you could spend a lifetime
exploring this small country. By far, my mom’s favorite part about Morocco
would be the… “NAY-CHUR!”
 |
| Private camping on an oceanside cliff |
 |
| One of my favorite spots in Paradise Valley |
 |
| Sunset from the kitchen window |
 |
| Cool-ery Jewelry |
THINGS MY DAD WOULD LOVE
1)
Lounge clothes. My dad is a huge fan of comfort over fashion
and that attitude is perfect here. He could wear the traditional saggy-booty
pants, sweats, breezy linen pants, and flowy robes like the rest of the guys do
here. The fuqiya is a dream come to to the not-so-haute-couture dude. Total
plus.
2)
Pizza on every
corner. Yep, there’s a pizza place every few hundred feet. My dad and I used to
eat pizza like 3 days a week (yeah, for real) and even had pizza one year for
Thanksgiving. I mean, who wants to baste a turkey for 4 hours? Get real. I
think he’d be more than happy to partake in the ol’ pizza pie. Fun fact:
Moroccans love sardines, calamari, and even tuna on pizza! What the?!
3)
The man café. 99%
of the patrons in the cafés here are men. It’s where all the dudes go to drink
coffee, socialize, smoke, or watch the big football (soccer) matches. Everyone
just sits around and chills. Since my dad is retired, I bet he’d like to just
hang out and relax with the locals.
4)
The motorbike. Despite its missing “bad-assedness” the
motorbike is actually fun. I could totally see him scootin’ around town, hair
blowin’ in the wind. Perhaps with a leather Harley-Davidson jacket on...
5)
Golfing. Agadir is home to some gorgeous courses. They hold
big national and international tournaments here and Agadir is known for its
lush green fairways. Since the weather is always nice, it’s available almost
every day of the year and there’s plenty of different spots to choose from.
6)
Hearing the call to prayer every morning. The calls from the
mosques are very loud and can be heard as early as 4-something in the morning
depending on the time of year and the sunrise times. My dad likes to get up
really early anyway, so he’d probably be up before the call. You can usually
hear 4 or 5 men calling from different mosques because there’s usually that
many within earshot of any house. There’s a certain sense of peace associated
with it and hearing it so early is very calming. I bet he’d like to
watch the sunrise and feel the city wake up.
 |
| FORE! |
 |
| It's TEE time. |
 |
| ...and now it's TEA time. Note the robes. Chill mode. |
 |
| Gitcha motor runnin... |
I think my mom’s favorites would be the artsy stuff and
nature and my dad’s faves would be the golfing and the laid back attitude. He’s
pretty laid-back himself and if he saw the fam on the moped he’d probably be
like, “There ya go! It’s cheap thrills for the kids!” Either way, it would be interesting to see how they’d do in
this magical, crazy, enchanting, lovely, warm and welcoming place called
Morocco. Now hurry up and book your tickets. (and wear long johns for the X-Ray
Vision scanners).
 |
| Show me whatcha werkin' with. |
 |
| sssssssss..... |
 |
| This guy's nuts. |
 |
| Food on a stick. Yes. |
 |
| It's not a lamp-shade. It's a sun-shade. |
7 comments:
Great read! As always you make me laugh and smile. Miss you Jaime!
Love yer list Downtown! What is the whole American zombie thing? I guess I'll find out next month...
Asalamu Alaykom J-AIM-e,
Thanks for teaming up on this! Loved all your pics.
DANGER at every turn, right? Subhanallah! Some of the things which Americans sue and WIN for in the U.S. don't even get a shrug over here. LOL! Perspective.
That jewelry was lover-ly. I don't find that here. We are too much in the Pharoanic junk where I live. Hard to find something without Nefertiti, Tut or a lotus.
Next month? I've got an idea already..."Moments I almost packed it in". Whaddaya say? Ya game?
Love and Light!
Hello, where to consider the standings euro 2012?
Anonymous above,
I have no idea what you just said.
Can you please re-type that and explain yourself?
Anonymous above,
I have no idea what you just said.
Can you please re-type that and explain yourself?
Is this comment too late ? hehe :D Anyway.. I had to comment about the music thing.. music being halal or not isn't very sure.. but me, as a Muslim Moroccan, do listen to music, like 99.99% of Moroccans, but I don't know if that's too bad.. so I just avoid listening to stupid pop music.. I don't even like it. So, who said no Beatles for your dad?
Post a Comment