Sbah Shhorr

The 15th of the month is always a special day for me. It means another month that I've lived in Morocco. Today is no different. It's officially been 7 months and I can't believe the twists and turns down every road and how this beautiful story has unfolded.
I've learned so much about life, people, and myself since being here and it's been a very strong an unexpected lesson. Living here has sincerely shown me what's important and what's not. The things I used to take for granted have since become unavailable to me and my ability to adapt has been put to extreme tests. Thankfully my parents raised a sort of soldier chameleon who can overcome any obstacle and blend into any situation. My colors have changed quickly and often-- and most times without so much as a split second of warning.
The people in my life that were so close to me are now so far away but close in a different way. Thoughts of my parents and family dance through my head daily and my mind wanders down hallways filled with memories of the past. I often stop to linger for a moment in the corridor of recollection when a certain person, event, or story comes to mind. Sometimes I giggle out loud to myself, sometimes I cry, and sometimes I just let the huge smile come across my face for as long as it wants to stay.
Since I've been gone, true friends have proven themselves as such, halfway friends are still lingering, and acquaintances have grown in number. Those that I care for the most know who they are and in turn, I realize now whose friendship goes beyond simply keeping me on their "friends list."
The friendships I've established here extend past merely bonding over booze --as drinking doesn't really exist here in this Islamic society or in my life at all. The social norm of drinking and divebars, cocktails and clubs, headaches and hangovers is something I made a choice not to be a part of. Instead, my focus is on staying on the Straight Path to pave my way to the ultimate success. Fortunately, the people in my life encourage me to remain upon that path no matter how narrow it becomes sometimes. Of course I've always believed that the hardest way is usually the best way.
Because I've spent so much time alone recently, the silence has been a great teacher. I do not own a TV nor do I have internet at my house. My phone and laptop only get service at wifi cafes so when I'm home alone, it's just me and---well...me. Things that I never had time for before have suddenly become the only thing on my agenda. Pieces of myself that I've been meaning to polish have quickly been removed of their dust and brought out for renovation. So much time to do nothing really gives a person the ability to do some soul-searching and more importantly-- soul-cleaning. It's an interesting feeling to be the person both behind the microscope and under it as well. A close-up view of things I didn't see before has drastically changed my life from the inside out. My vision has widened, my perspective has shifted, and my goals have been rearranged.
In the short time I've been in Morocco, I have already learned so much. My strengths have become stronger and my weaknesses are becoming fewer. I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go but thankfully I now have the patience to take things slowly. My way isn't always the right way (I know, I was shocked too) but there are many roads to choose from. In this journey called life, different people are on different paths to different goals. As for me, my heart is set on what I want and I just happen to have the book that tells me exactly how to get it.

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Bonnie Hammond said...

7 months? It seems like 7 years. It's hard to believe it was only a year ago that we went family camping.

I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.

Yosra said...

Asalamu Alaykom,

This is a high quality post. There is the real depth of hijrah here. This is you at your best. You are a searcher and as long as you keep celebrating the new gifts each day gives you, you will keep smiling every 15th.