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Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts

A Year in Morocco

Yeah I used a stock photo. So?



December 15th, 2010:  I packed my bags in the morning and prepared to leave London on the morning train to the airport. I'd been traveling from Los Angeles to Kenosha to Chicago to Dublin to London and this part of my trip was almost over. Not only was I leaving these places, I was also leaving western life behind.

I didn't really know what to expect when I boarded that plane. After I found my seat, I sat alone with my right shoulder leaning against the cold airplane window. I had a lot on my mind-- my family, my friends I'd left in so many places, and the new life I was about to begin. The last few days in London was full of chaos and charisma, trains and traffic. As fun as my travel blur had been, I was ready for some peace and quiet. Just as the plane took off, the sun was beginning to set. I watched out the window as we lifted above the cloud cover and it felt as if I was floating into an orange glow of warmth. The rays of the sun seemed to reach out and hug the plane. For some reason everything felt like it was going to be ok.








The first few months in Morocco revealed so many new things to me. It felt like a dream come true as I took each day in stride, unprepared for what was ahead of me. I traveled the roller coaster of roads through the depths of the countryside, into the mountains, through the modern capital city, small villages, beach towns, campsites, ocean-view cliffs, and back to Agadir again. I didn't really know what to expect before I came here and Moroco had its way of showing itself to me one day at a time.




The African coast is so beatiful, isn't it?


I eventually settled into my beach house in Tamraght and the pages of my life book turned quickly. Each day was different and the friends I had made earlier played a really important role in my life. There are a few people that helped me with their words, wisdom, insight and philosophies that really meant so much to me. There's one person in particular who really had a big impact on me. He used to talk about everything with me and his words stuck in my head. One day he told me to be positive always and rely on God. We sat in his truck one day and he said to me, "You just have to chase the Light." I never forgot that and it's been a big theme of my life since then.






Soon after I met an incredible banana cupcake gypsy lady named Cindy and she moved in with me for 2 months. Our adventures were at God's perfect timing and we both helped eachother in different ways. She needed me at the exact time I needed her. If you want to see what I mean, check out my post called Cindy-bindy .

Ramadan was just around the corner by the time Cindy headed to Spain and I was preparing for a new spiritual adventure. Fasting for 30 days straight was something new for me but I was ready for it. The whole month of August was such an amazing experience. Each day I would wake up around 4:00 am and eat a huge breakfast. Then afterwards I would pray and go back to sleep. When you fast, you can't eat or drink ANYTHING (no gum, no water, no nada) and you break the fast at sunset which is around 7:30pm. The days during that month were spent learning more about Islam, reading the entire Quran twice, and cooking the big dinner to break the fast (without tasting anything--just eyeballing everything). After dinner, everyone would go to the mosque for the extra evening prayers and sometimes we'd be standing in prayer for over 2 1/2 hours. It was incredible to feel the way I did. Here I was in the Africa all alone, yet I felt like I totally belonged here. The unity I feel when I'm at the mosque is like the glue that binds me to my faith. I'm so thankful that I've been able to develop in the surrounding that I'm in.


After Ramadan was over, Mohamed proposed to me. Ever since then, life has been a whirlwind. We've done so much together, learned so much about eachother, and traveled in between also. I've spent the last few months teaching him how to speak English and he's spent the last few months teaching me about Islam. He is truly a blessing in my life and I am so happy he found me. 


You know, when I came here I didn't really have a plan. But God did. He knew exactly what I'd be doing and how I'd live, survive, and make my way in this beautiful country. I'm now an official resident here and it feels really good to be here. I'm so happy I trusted my gut instincts and decided to pack everything up and just go. There's no way I can describe how empowering and valuable it is do just do your own thing. I really really really encourage anyone reading this to take a chance on whatever it is that you're thinking about. Is there something that's ALWAYS on your mind? Then do it. Seriously, why wait? What are you scared of? Just take the risk and go with it. You won't be disappointed. And even if what you want doesn't work out...you'll still have fun along your way. The people you'll meet will inspire you in a way you can never imagine or plan for. 


Big props to my girl Haydee who packed everything up from Beverly Hills and moved to Costa Rica last month. Now she's chillin' in a dope loft with a hammock on her balcony overlooking giant fields of palm trees. A year ago in LA at my going away party, she thought I was nuts for moving to Morocco alone...now look at her. :)  And to my friend Jen Le: it's time for you to move to Italy. The photography industry is waiting for a bubbly American like you to get it where you fit in. There are too many opportunities that you're missing out on every day. Set your plan in motion. Don't just talk about it, DO IT! 


See what happens when you take a chance?




I have so many people to thank for my sanity and my survival. First of course, are my mom and dad. Without their constant support, I'm sure I'd be a train wreck. (Dina Lohan: take note). To all my friends who email me to tell me that I'm an inspiration, thank you. People don't really realize how a simple little email can make someone's day. To all the strangers that I've never met that have stumbled upon this blog, thank you for all of your kind comments and emails. I really appreciate it. 


To everyone that's never met me:  Can you add a comment and tell me how you found this blog? I mean...I have page hits from over 100 countries so I'd love to know how you've all found me! :D


In conclusion, a year is a long time and a short time all at once. I'm very happy where I'm at both physically, mentally, and spiritually and a lot of it has to do with being here in lovely Agadir. I really miss all my family and friends so hurry up and book a plane ticket to come see me! I love you all!







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A Letter to Los Angeles


Dear City of Angels,

It's  been almost a year since I saw you last and lately I've been thinking about you a lot. I'm incredibly happy living in Morocco and although I don't want to live in the States again, I still think about you often. There are days, places, and things that I see that remind me of you and I want you to know there's a special place in my heart for you always.

I remember when I decided I couldn't live away from you. I quit my job, packed everything I could fit into my car, and headed towards you. It took me 4 days of driving but it was totally worth it. I'll admit, I was a little nervous as to how you'd receive me, but you welcomed me with open arms. As predicted, you completely swept me off my feet. From the start, I was in love with you. There were so many things you showed me that I'd never seen before. You were better than I hoped you would be and the more I saw of you, the more I loved you.
The first part of my adventure dropped me into a lovely place with a lovely face. I met a girl named Tammy aka Tamms online and she was looking for a roommate. Before I moved in, I visited her so we could meet in person and right away I knew we'd get along. When the day came for me to finally park the Mitsubishi in my new home, I was beyond excited. The condo was gorgeous, super clean, and perfect in every way.  Right away we became friends and hung out all the time. She put up with my craziness and constant silliness and I helped ween her off her addiction to Starbucks. (Ok so it totally didn't work and she's probably drinking a Triple Shot Pumpkin Latte right now). We spent so many nights on the balcony with our friends Paul and Cuba (who aren't humans by the way) and would talk all night while annoying the neighbors. Somtimes we'd go take a dip in the pool and make pina coladas with peanut butter and chocolate in them and just chill all day. We used to cook together, have little parties sometimes, and avoid stinky gremlins when possible. I'd always rearrange things in the house just to see if she'd notice and she always did. I tell you, that was the best-smelling condo ever. It was like...dripping with the scent of Yankee Candles at all times. When we weren't making Nutella s'mores in the microwave, sometimes we'd just spend literally all day to artsy-craftsy goofy stuff. She was the best roommate I could ask for and we had so much fun together. Tamms Turtle...what a blast we had!

I spent most of my time in the city and one day I met a new friend. Everything happened so fast and I didn't see any of it coming. I remember one day I met a girl named Lisa B. The day we met she told me she was going to change my life forever. I didn't know what she meant by that but shortly after, I saw for myself. She took me from the Midwestern girl living in Los Angeles to the girl spinning in the middle of the Hollywood social circle--and she did it at warp speed. Before I knew it I was hosting parties at the Thompson Hotel in Beverly Hills, throwing parties at some of LA's best-kept secret spots, eating at places like Mr. Chow, STK, Villa Blanca, Toast, and whatever other places were "in" at the moment. She showed me how to never wait in line no matter what and as the velvet ropes opened for us, doors of opportunity did, too. Instead of buying tickets for concerts, we were getting privately escorted in through back doors and led straight to the stage. VIP sections and comp'd bottle service became a way of life. Hanging out in the DJ booth with Paul Oakenfold and Benny Benassi was just "another night out on the town"--even if it was a Monday.  Things I never dreamed I would do became normal for me and everything happened too fast for me to realize what was going on. Living the high life became MY life and I felt like I was living a real-life version of an US Weekly issue. Weekend getaways to Palm Springs, San Diego, beach cities and whatever other spur-of-the moment idea we came up with were all just a Jaguar convertible drive away. There was nothing we didn't do--rooftop  pool parties, afro wigs, surf competitions, KooKoo rugs, yacht parties, Thanksgiving dinner with no turkey, movie nights at The Grove, a stupid rabbit, high heels on the balcony, undying love for a mustache, driving 2 blocks from home and valet parking, Christmas lights in August, Ally-Alejandro, the Roger Room, gettin' buttered up and buttered down from a bath salts salesman, Mr. Schaeffer and the fire-less fireplace, flying to San Francisco and back in less than 24 hours (for free) just because, Hard Rock kitchen appearances, getting escorted into (and out of) places, the never-ending quest for LA's best guacamole,  Thursday night themed dinner parties, Happy Endings, a $450 black latex cat suit and Dancing With a Star named Maksim, Asian flings (and BBQs), droppin' it low, freestyle rapping with black lesbians in flannel shirts and fitted hats, the Courthouse on Hill St, gas from a cop in the rain, kicking Mena Suvari out of VIP,  photo booths and photo shoots, T-Burglars, grocery store deliveries to the front door, Gyu-Kaku on a weekly basis, Japanese Cherry Blossom at all times, HOME in Los Feliz, Sunset Blvd and sunset cruises with the top down, Venice Beach drum circle, and who could forget our friends down at the L.A.P.D.? We did it all and then some. And sometimes while wearing waist-high purple satin pants.



Getcher suitcase sweetheart, cuz we're goin' outta town!


US OPEN of Surfing, Huntington Beach



On deck with Benny Benassi

Gyu Kaku...I miss you.
 
This rule-breaking citizen shall remain anonymous



Between all of the craziness, I still had time to appreciate the beauty of the charismatic city of Los Angeles. I miss hikes up Runyon Canyon and the panoramic views all the way to the ocean. Sometimes I'd wake up  and take walks around my neighborhood before everyone was awake. I miss going to the Cow's End Cafe for a cafe mocha and then walking along Venice Beach at 8am. I knew all the locals (and their dogs, too) and I used to be so thankful that I've never had a 9-5. Working for a company or corporate business is something I never understood. Why give up all your freedom to be on someone else's schedule? Wouldn't you be happier waking up when you want and doing whatever you wanted every day? It's  100% possible for everyone. Those who have taken the time to think of how to make it happen are with me in the "Anti- 9 to 5 Club." So while I slowly woke up on the beach with my toes in the sand, I'd laugh at all the "Is it Friday yet?" Facebook gripes.  This neighborhood was one of my favorite places. Whether I was riding a beach cruiser to Santa Monica Pier, shopping at the weekly farmer's market, or watching a Lakers game in a local spot, I always loved Venice Beach.  There's something about it that just can't be described.

Goodmorning, Ocean!

Ahhh, Runyon...


Beach life and city life are my 2 favorite things. I loved all of your neighborhoods and the people in them-- from the bimbos in Hollywood to the hipsters in Echo Park. You have a way of taking people in and slowly transforming them whether it be for better or worse. That's what I love about you: your acceptance of everyone. Nobody cares if someone is different. Not everyone wears the same thing like in the Midwest and I fell in love with the fashion. Bold outrageous outfits are normal and nobody shops at Aeropostale, Charlotte Russe, or American Eagle. The Gap is reminiscent of the early 90s and the thought of shopping at the mall makes people shudder. Instead you can find everything you need in vintage shops, crazy places on Melrose, sifting through the racks in Silverlake, Los Feliz, and Echo Park, at cute boutiques throughout the city, or one of the American Apparel stores on every corner. Wherever you go or whatever you do, nobody shows up with the same outfit as you. The creativity bred within your city limits is almost as gorgeous as the people living there. From models to street fashion, there's eye candy for every type of sweet tooth.



One of the city's stylish residents, Kerry


Some LA chicks

Not afraid of stepping out of the box

They say the sign of a good relationship is when you can be together in silence and be happy. I miss that part about you, too. When I wanted to be alone and peaceful, there was always a way and a place for that to happen. For the last few months of my life in LA, I flipped the script into a totally different scene. I moved from 3rd & La Cienega between The Beverly Center and The Grove and switched my atmosphere to a secret place in Highland Park. My friend Tay was renting an apartment from a rock star who was on tour in Europe--but she was never there. Since she moved in with her boyfriend I'd have the place to myself. We exchanged a few plane tickets for rent money and called it even. The best part is that the guy whose house it was had no idea I was staying there. The days I spent alone in Highland Park is where my life changed the fastest. I learned more about myself in those few months than I did in the 2 years prior waltzing around LA.

Miss you, Tay! ...(and your orange sassafrass nails)

My favorite room in the Treehouse...and the blue couch!

My living space was like a treehouse set really far back behind 2 other houses. It was at the end of a long driveway and from the street you'd never know it was there. There was no TV, internet, or radio--just me and my thoughts. And a record player. I used to take the subway and get off about a 1 minute walk from the treehouse. The best feeling ever was coming home to an empty house. I'd come in, light some candles, and put on a record. Sometimes before I came home I'd stop by Amoeba Music and dig through the crates for new records. On the way home I'd be so excited to listen to my latest purchase. It was always random but always good--sometimes some Prefuse 73, Jay-Z Reasonable Doubt, Egyptian bellydance music from the 60s, A Tribe Called Quest, or some Basement Jaxx. I'd fall asleep on the blue couch and wake up happier than ever.  That treehouse was perfect for me and it allowed me to do some serious soul -searching. I'll never forget always stopping at Famima! inside Union Station before cruising to my house. I truly loved that house and it was exactly what I needed exactly when I needed it. I honestly, honestly feel like I left a pretty good-sized piece of my heart in that treehouse--and I'm totally ok with that.

Amoeba = Classic.


Next Stop: Union Station

I really miss my commute.
I was never bored with all of these gems



You know, the whole reason I moved to be with you is because I was looking for something different. I was beyond bored with the Midwest and I knew I had outgrown my surroundings. I had this dream list of things I wanted to accomplish--and set a goal time line of 2 years. I accomplished everything in less than 6 months and from there my life was going full speed ahead. Within no time I had a really cool job--doing production for HBO's True Blood and Big Love, working with people like Snoop Dogg and Nicki Minaj and working for one of the best video directors of all time, Hype Williams. Sometimes I'd work in the art department for movies or do random side jobs like paint custom artwork for Gene Simmons, Kanye West or Amber Rose. I even built a spiral staircase for MC Lyte. That's what I love most about you, Los Angeles-- your constant randomness.


Halfway done with these paintings for Kanye and Amber


Working on the set of HBO's "Big Love"



Lights, Camera, Action



Filming with Eva Mendes



Nicki Minaj and her boom-ba-doom-boom, boom ba-doom boom bass




If I have to look at ONE more Christmas light...


By far the best new thing to happen to me while I was there was my discovery of Islam. It came in the most unexpected way, but I suppose almost everything in my life in LA happened unexpectedly. People ask me all the time how I became Muslim and it all started with a book. While I was waiting for someone one day, I was browsing his bookshelf. That's when I saw a copy of the Holy Quran. Intriqued, I picked it up "just to see" and I couldn't put it down. All the questions I had as a Christian were answered within that book! Finally! I had been questioning pastors for years only to be led to dead ends. I'd always been very religious but being in church never made 100% sense to me. No matter how many times I'd ask about the Trinity, nobody could answer my questions. I was simply told "it's  a mystery" and I never bought it. I always knew Jesus is not God. God is God, Jesus is Jesus. Both of them even said so in the Quran AND Bible. But that's not my point. My point is that I found myself living a life on the outside that didn't agree with what I felt on the inside. Soon after finding Islam, I became less interested in Guest Lists and more interested in God. Going to Drai's and H.Wood became less and less appealing. I'd find myself all dressed up sitting in a club full of people and thinking "Why am I even here? I just want to be at home right now. This is lame." Week after week I'd continue to think about how this glamorous life was starting to feel dull. I was looking for something more that I all of a sudden couldn't find in LA.


Reading the Quran on Venice Beach

I decided that I needed to change my surroundings. Everytime I would finish reading a chapter of the Quran, I would always think of Moroco and I didn't know why. I would find myself daydreaming of this place that I had never been to before. I didn't know antyhing about Morocco really--but I kept thinking about it more and more. When things like this happen, I feel like it's God's way of talking to me. What started out as a whisper of an idea turned into words being shouted into my heart that became impossible to ignore. I didn't know anyone there or what I would do or where I would live or how my life would be, but I did know that it was time for me to go.

It was a bittersweet time for me to say goodbye to you, Los Angeles. As I packed my suitcase full of memories, I was preparing for an entirely different type of journey. I traded my mini skirts for modesty, tequila for tranquility and partying for praying. I'm living my life now in a completely different way. I never wake up hungover and and my body and conscious are totally clean.  I have a new life but I'm way happier with the way I live now. 

For now, all I ask is that you take care of all of my friends there. I hope that you can lead them to true happiness the way you did for me--even if that means living away from you. I'll never forget the times we had and the things, people, and places you showed me. I don't want you to think that I don't miss you, because I do. I think about you all the time. You were everything I ever wanted and then some. The thing is, I just fell out of love with you. The part of my life I shared with you is now a closed chapter. Thank you for everything. I'll never forget you.

Love always,
DowntownJaimeBrown (one word)




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Reflections

When I think of God, I thank Him for all of the trials and the tests because without them I wouldn't know who I am. I need His guidance to take me places I don't always know about in advance. The journey here on earth may seem long at times but in retrospect it's all a stepping stone to get to the real life. Better than Superman with his cape, Allah swooped down and rescued me from where I was in order to bring me to where I'm at now. I have a happiness in my heart that others spend a lifetime searching for in all the wrong places. Now I'm in a place physically and spiritually where I know that His light is always shining high above me. It never goes dim and it surely never fades. It's with me wherever I go yet I can't stop chasing it...


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Sbah Shhorr

The 15th of the month is always a special day for me. It means another month that I've lived in Morocco. Today is no different. It's officially been 7 months and I can't believe the twists and turns down every road and how this beautiful story has unfolded.
I've learned so much about life, people, and myself since being here and it's been a very strong an unexpected lesson. Living here has sincerely shown me what's important and what's not. The things I used to take for granted have since become unavailable to me and my ability to adapt has been put to extreme tests. Thankfully my parents raised a sort of soldier chameleon who can overcome any obstacle and blend into any situation. My colors have changed quickly and often-- and most times without so much as a split second of warning.
The people in my life that were so close to me are now so far away but close in a different way. Thoughts of my parents and family dance through my head daily and my mind wanders down hallways filled with memories of the past. I often stop to linger for a moment in the corridor of recollection when a certain person, event, or story comes to mind. Sometimes I giggle out loud to myself, sometimes I cry, and sometimes I just let the huge smile come across my face for as long as it wants to stay.
Since I've been gone, true friends have proven themselves as such, halfway friends are still lingering, and acquaintances have grown in number. Those that I care for the most know who they are and in turn, I realize now whose friendship goes beyond simply keeping me on their "friends list."
The friendships I've established here extend past merely bonding over booze --as drinking doesn't really exist here in this Islamic society or in my life at all. The social norm of drinking and divebars, cocktails and clubs, headaches and hangovers is something I made a choice not to be a part of. Instead, my focus is on staying on the Straight Path to pave my way to the ultimate success. Fortunately, the people in my life encourage me to remain upon that path no matter how narrow it becomes sometimes. Of course I've always believed that the hardest way is usually the best way.
Because I've spent so much time alone recently, the silence has been a great teacher. I do not own a TV nor do I have internet at my house. My phone and laptop only get service at wifi cafes so when I'm home alone, it's just me and---well...me. Things that I never had time for before have suddenly become the only thing on my agenda. Pieces of myself that I've been meaning to polish have quickly been removed of their dust and brought out for renovation. So much time to do nothing really gives a person the ability to do some soul-searching and more importantly-- soul-cleaning. It's an interesting feeling to be the person both behind the microscope and under it as well. A close-up view of things I didn't see before has drastically changed my life from the inside out. My vision has widened, my perspective has shifted, and my goals have been rearranged.
In the short time I've been in Morocco, I have already learned so much. My strengths have become stronger and my weaknesses are becoming fewer. I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go but thankfully I now have the patience to take things slowly. My way isn't always the right way (I know, I was shocked too) but there are many roads to choose from. In this journey called life, different people are on different paths to different goals. As for me, my heart is set on what I want and I just happen to have the book that tells me exactly how to get it.

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Why Morocco?




The first question people ask me is, “Why Morocco?” and to that I have no answer. I've been thinking about this country since I was a little girl. Something has always pulled on my heart and I never knew why. When I moved to Los Angeles, people back home would ask me, “Why LA?” and to that I said I was looking for a change—a place with opportunities, things to do, new climate, a place that was fashionable, stylish, and by the ocean. I knew I could never live with snow and cold weather again so off to the West Coast I went. Following is a little background of how I came to live on the coast of Africa.

Part One: The City of Angels. I packed everything into my car and drove across the country with no plan, very little money, and I didn’t know anyone in LA. Somehow I just knew that I’d find a way. Before I got there, I sort of had this “dream list” of things I wanted to do and accomplish out there. At the time some of them seemed unrealistic but then again I had no idea how unrealistic Hollywood actually is.  Over the first few months I got to familiarize myself with the city and its people and I was amazed, shocked, intrigued and inspired. 



Pretty soon I found myself in situations I never imagined I’d be in—I was throwing weekly parties at the Thompson Hotel in Beverly Hills, designing custom bowling shoes for Gene Simmons, painting artwork for Kanye West, working on HBO shows like Big Love and True Blood, working production for different music videos and commercials, and I even got to work in the art department for an Eva Mendes movie. Not exactly what I expected to do when I left Kenosha.

That's a wrap!


After a while, I got tired of the pace of LA life.  I’ve always dreamt about Morocco and I found myself thinking about it more and more often. In September 2010 I decided I wanted to move there. I didn’t know how I was going to do it or what it would take, but I always love a good challenge. So I called my mom and said, “Mom, guess what? I’m moving. To Africa. By myself. In 3 months.” I’m sure you can imagine her reaction. My mom and dad have always supported me in every single thing I’ve wanted to do—whether they agreed with it or not. My mom said, “Jaim…at this point, nothing you do shocks me anymore.” So as long as I had the green light from both of my parents it was time to start planning.
I’ll make it really simple: I quit my job, sold everything besides what I could fit into one suitcase, and off I went. I of course flew home to Wisconsin to say goodbye to my family and friends and that’s when my adventure began.

My first stop was in Dublin. I had never really thought about going to Ireland before but most of the flights to London had layovers in Dub. So I figured as long as I’m going to be on Irish soil, I may as well stay and check it out for a few days. So that was fun. Next stop: London. I’ve been there before in the summer of 2005 and it was hot and gorgeous. This time, it was winter and freezing. I say it’s like Chicago—a Cubs game at Wrigley in the middle of July is nothing like standing in Millenium Park  in thu sub-zero temperatures of January. The season changes the whole experience. Either way, Londontown was fun. Now? Destination: Morocco…




Next Stop: Africa

The Airport:  My New Life

As I was descending the stairway from the plane to the runway, everything felt so surreal. It was so hard to comprehend that I was actually in Morocco. I was alone, but ready for my new life.


The December nighttime air was warm and clear. The sky was pitch-black and the stars sparkled like diamonds. I couldn’t believe I was under the African sky. It all felt like a movie. Everything I had dreamed about was coming true, and I was happier than I’d ever been.


Over the course of the next few months, my new life was like a fantasy. I did some amazing things that I never imagined I'd do. I traveled all over Morocco--to the countryside, Marrakech, Casablanca, Rabat, Imsouene, Essaouria, El Jadida, Paradise Valley, and Taghazout—multiple times. 


There was a lot I had to adjust to and it definitely wasn’t easy. I suppose the people here will never understand what I went through until they see where I came from. We accept eachother’s different cultures and do the best we can to understand that everyone is different.

There are so many details I’m leaving out, but I can’t really summarize 4 months in a few paragraphs. From now on, I’m going to post about what is happening currently, and if you have any questions about anything from before or if you want more details about something, just let me know and I’ll post about it. I get so many questions from people all the time and I find myself answering the same things often. I figured if someone posts a comment or a question, it would be a good way for me to answer whatever you’d like to know.   :)

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